filling in the blanks

I think it can be difficult to share important things with other people.  I have about 8,521 goals for 2013, and I haven't told a soul about any of my goals.

WHY?

I think I am SCARED!  Scared that someone might laugh, that someone might tell me that I can't do it.  Scared that maybe I won't do it, that I shot too high, that I wasn't capable of making it.

Ooh, just thinking about it makes me jump straight into fetal position emotionally.

Maybe that's why I haven't told anyone about this blog.

I only have 5 acts of service posted.  It doesn't yet look like I could come close to making it.  Even I can see that.  The idea is huge and could seem outlandish to some. And let's not forget about the appearance --the blog looks ugly--like a joke.

I just don't think people will respond well right now.

People will think that I am _________________.
A. Crazy
B. Lazy
C. Conceited
D. Sharing something way too personal online
E. Overly optimistic and unrealistic
F. Trying to fake perfect
G.  All of the above plus more

I think what scares me most is that I want this blog to impact me, my family, my friends--because it makes me a better person; however, I also want a few people to read this and to get inspired.  I want to help change the lives of people around me.

Maybe other people don't have to join in on this crazy little journey and doing a couple thousand good deeds, but maybe they will want to do something (a single thing after reading) for someone else.  That would be wonderful!

See, now that makes my heart start to flutter a little bit.

And right now, right now I have COURAGE.  And perhaps a little FIRE and HOPE and DESIRE and FAITH mixed in there too.

That is why I wrote today.  I quit letting the looks of this blog get me down--and I started filling it with a little SPIRIT and SPUNK.

Instead of letting the FEAR take a hold of me tonight, encouraging me to put everything off yet again, I chose to let in some LIGHT.

Oh, and it feels BRIGHT right now.

Maybe I won't tell anyone about the blog until I have at least 100 acts of service done.  Yeah, that's when I will share this with others.

100 acts.

But at least I wrote....and served....and will be back tomorrow.

Time to get the ball rolling--time for some SUNSHINE!

 beautiful image found here